10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
OK, I did not write this, but I seriously looove it! I had posted it on the other blog, but because that one is private now, I thought I’d move the post over here. If anyone can’t tell, it is suppossed to be sarcasm. I am all for gay marriage!! Also, if anyone knows who did write it in the first place, please let me know so I can give them credit!!
1. Being gay is not natural.
And real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, air conditioning, tattoos, piercings and silicone breasts.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay.
In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.
People may even wish to marry their pets, because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. Blow-up dolls are next, then pencils.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all.
That’s why women are still property, interracial marriages are forbidden, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed.
And we can’t let the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children.
Therefore, gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry. It’s not like our population isn’t out of control and our orphanages aren’t full– the world REALLY needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children.
You know, because straight parents ONLY raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion.
And in a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
(Did I miss the lesson where Jesus says He hates gays?)
9. Children cannot succeed without a male and female role model at home.
Which is exactly why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms.
Just like we haven‘t adapted to cars, longer life spans, or Bush.
Have a safe and happy weekend!! Go Vikings!!